[I] Moving In

His mind suddenly clicked, Safir had been acting strangely since he went to get his inhaler from his cupboard....his cupboard.

Oh God!

Joshua's face went bright red, his mouth lulling open as he stared at the man in stunned silence.

The boy was utterly mortified, his teacher had....had....

"Oh god..."

He muttered before groaning loudly and hiding under his blanket, he just wanted to melt into the couch and die.

Panic gripped him at the realization, Safir knew about him.
"Promise me you wont tell anyone!"
He pleaded as he continued to hide, he wasn't 'out' and didn't plan on coming out any time soon, if ever.

"No, I will not tell anyone."

He wasn't about to report Joshua to the police or tell the university - he was attracted to men himself and saw no harm in it. But he did feel like it was his responsibility to ensure Josh was safe. He was his teacher, after all.

"But err..."

He paused, eyes sliding shut as he gave a sigh, willing himself the courage.

"Use a condom, kid."

Josh didn't want to be here right now, this was his worst nightmare come true, he had tried to escape his sexuality, he didn't want anyone to know, least of all someone he respected.

Tears from the night before reemerged as he hid beneath the blanket.

Use a condom? He almost wanted to laugh, oh yes, because he had so many men lining up at his door wanting to get in his pants.

He could feel his heart pounding frantically in his chest as his breath hitched in his throat, he was going to burn those magazines and try to forget that this had ever happened.

Safir heard the snuffling beneath the blanket and shifted uncomfortably.

"Er. Do you want a tissue?"

He had never been very good when other people displayed emotion, as he showed very little of it himself.

It seemed a little odd to him to for Joshua to be so upset about it. As far as he was concerned, sexuality was neither here nor there. He largely tried to ignore his. Or just considered it a fact of life.

Although it did get in the way sometimes.

He handed the young man a tissue from the box on the coffee-table.

"I'm sorry."

He muttered apologetically, willing himself to calm down before he peeked out from behind the blanket, taking the tissue and wiping his eyes and blowing his nose.

"I...just...I came to Italy to get away from all of that."

Josh smiled softly and shook his head as he looked down at his hands.

"I don't want to be gay anymore."

He admitted bitterly, a dark blush appearing on his cheek. He had tried desperately to stop himself but it was impossible.

He cocked his head at the young man, a slight frown creasing his forehead.

"You do not need to be upset regarding it."

His legs crossed and he leaned forwards a little, patting the young man's knee comfortingly, a soft smile making small creases appear at the corners of his thin mouth.

"If you tell nobody, nobody needs to know."

Joshua's blush darkened as Safir's hand touched his knee, he would never understand why the man was so kind to him, the way he acted, he didn't really deserve it.

"This must be really awkward for you."

He replied with a chuckle, trying to lighten his own mood as well as the mood in the room.

"I'm sorry about my little outburst, just having a rough couple of days."

"I'm a teacher, I've had to deal with a lot worse."

His smile tugged on the corners of his lips, gradually turning more humorous.

"At least you can't get pregnant."

Sorting out the pregnancy cases were always hellish and involved an awful lot of screaming, hormonal young women, often not fully out of their teenage years.

Double the hormones. Fun.

At least Joshua wouldn't scream at him.

Joshua smiled back, his mood lightening significantly as they spoke.

"That is a plus I suppose."

The boy sat up slowly, giving a more contented sigh as he lay against the back of the couch.

"I'm just not ready to come out yet, I tried before and it didn't end well."

He added, shaking his head, god he hated his father now.

"Not that it matters, there aren't any decent men in this school."

"I take offence at that." he quipped.

He picked up his bowl of cocopops and started eating them again. They had gone soggy now. A disgusted expression crinkled his face. Ew.

"Nobody needs to know if you like boys, girls or both." he continued, waving his spoon in the air as he spoke. "It's private, and that's fine."

He put the bowl back on the table, pulling a small handkerchief out of his dressing-gown sleeve and dabbing the corner of his mouth.

He chuckled softly, looking over at the man with a smile.
"I didn't mean you, I meant the guys in my classes. I can't wait to leave University and find someone intelligent and mature.

It would be nice having someone."

He replied, hugging his knees to his chest as he rested his head lazily on top of them.

Someone like Safir, he thought to himself with an inward smile, the man was definitely his type but he doubted very much with Safir was gay, plus, he was his teacher, it would be highly inappropriate.

"I'm glad you think so, the last thing I need is people judging me because of who I am attracted to."

"I wouldn't know."

He had never really had anybody in that sense. His wife was someone chosen for him by his parents. He had come to love her, but more as a companion. They had never really been in love as such.

And Nikolai... He had fallen hard for Nikolai. But when he had tried to take Safir away from his family... well. Safir wasn't going to stand for that.

"I don't see the point." he said cautiously. It was true. He didn't understand why anyone would hate someone for their sexual preference. He wanted to tell Joshua that he was the same way but... well. You couldn't be too careful these days.

"You don't have anyone?"

He asked in surprise, he was genuinely shocked by that, it wasn't as if Safir was bad on the eyes, he was very handsome, and though he took a while to warm too he was kind.

"Well hopefully you find someone soon, you deserve more fun in your spare time than looking after my sickly self."

Josh muttered with a chuckle before gingerly laying back down against the couch, he was too tired to sit up for long periods of time, plus he started to get light headed easily.

"No, I don't."

It wasn't such a bad life.To tell the truth, he had rather avoided getting involved with anyone. He had his books, he had never really been very good with people, and getting emotionally attached was dangerous.

"I am not really looking. I would rather be here looking after your sickly self."

His smile faded a little as he watched the blood drain from Joshua's face. He must be feeling faint again.

"Shall I get you something to eat?"

"That's pretty sad, if I were you I'd be out at bars, talking up sophisticated women, perhaps a coffee shop would be more your style though, or the park.

Anywhere but this shitty apartment."

He replied with a soft chuckle as he lay there, bundled up in his blanket.

"No thank you, I couldn't stomach anything right now."

He admitted, one thing he didn't want to admit was the fact that he wasn't getting better, if anything he was feeling slightly worse than normal but he would hide that from Safir for as long as possible.

He laughed softly and shook his head, rubbing the back of his hair.

"No. I don't "talk up" women."

Or men for that matter. He always found it came off sleazy. That and the fact that he was just generally avoiding anything like that at the moment.

"You need to eat at some point." he swiftly avoided the subject.

"And there is your problem, you'd rather sit there watching me cough up a lung than going out and having fun.
You wont have those looks of yours forever you know, you have to strike while the iron is hot."

He replied with a chuckle, as if he was one to talk, still, making fun of Safir's lack of love life made him feel a little better about his own.

"I don't want to eat, I'll only just end up throwing it all back up again, it's a waste of food and energy."

He laughed. "You make better company than anyone else I've met around here."

And he would have these looks forever, he mentally added. He just had no particular desire to use them.

Looks were useless, to his mind. They didn't contribute anything to intelligence, and people just saw you as a pretty face so they spent more time flirting with you than making conversation.

He wanted to be able to talk to people properly, like he did with Agrigento or, now, with Joshua.

That was one of the reasons he didn't want to get involved with anyone. He enjoyed being valued for his intelligence.

"Now that is just depressing."
He replied with a laugh as he shook his head.

"You enjoy the company of a anti-social hermit."
Joshua joked as he gave a soft cough, he had to stop himself from laughing to much and having another attack.

"I'd have to say the same though, I like your company more than anyone else's that I've met the entire time I've been here. Even if you did just try to give me 'the talk'."

A smile curled up his lips as he looked over at the older man, now that he wasn't freaking out he could see the funny side of it.

"Well, we are both anti-social hermits, so I suppose it is convenient."

He smiled. His smiles barely stretched his mouth. They were a slight upwards quirking of the lips. But mainly he smiled with his eyes. They brightened, past their usual dullness, cheeks becoming a little plumper, more youthful.

His cheeks coloured a little. "I am your teacher, it is my responsibility. I did not like it any more than you, trust in me."

Joshua laughed as Safir's cheeks darkened in colour, he couldn't help but find this amusing now, Safir did seem to care that he was gay at all.

"I'm twenty two years old, I think I know that I have to wear a condom during sex."

He teased with a chuckle, a little bit of life coming back into the boy as he joked around.

"I can only imagine your face finding those magazines."
Josh snorted a chuckled, Safir was normally so mild mannered, the thought of seeing him frazzled was entertaining.

"I'll keep my medicine of my bedside table from now on okay?"

"That is probably a good plan." he muttered, cheeks still dark.

Safir was old-fashioned when it came to porn. Actual sex didn't embarrass him too much, though he had avoided it for a while. But he found it embarrassing to look at porn. The thought of seeing someone so intimately that you didn't know...

It seemed odd to him.

"Alright then."

He confirmed, they could avoid little situations like these rather easily, living with someone always had it's issues that needed to be ironed out.

Even if that someone just happened to be your teacher.

"Is there anything in your room I should be avoiding while I am at it?"

"Err."

He chewed his lip in thought. His first instinct had been to say no but on second thoughts...

"The blue box under my bed."

It could be slightly problematic if Joshua found the blood bags. Could certainly make for an interesting situation. And if Joshua thought it was just porn or sex toys in the box, he wasn't likely to go rifling through it.

He hoped.

"Alright then."

He replied with a soft nod, a small smile gracing his lips as he lay back down against the couch and snuggled into the blankets.

"I'd rather not be scarred for life."

The idea of going through Safir's 'personal' items made him cringe, more so knowing he was a straight man, the images in his collect weren't something he wanted to witness.