Talking Through Their Troubles (Taylor)

Moe sat curled up in her chair, staring silently at the crackling fire.

A laptop sat open on the arm of the chair, the screen blank. It had been sat idle for so long it had set itself in sleep mode.

But if the screen was on, you'd see an abundance of tabs open, all on the same topic. Getting over Tocophobia.

Moe wanted pups. She wanted to be able to have her own children; to hold and love them, stare down at a face made up of familiar features.

But her fears were getting to her. She curled into a tight ball and buried her face in her knees, biting her lip to hold back tears. She wanted children, but she was scared.

Pregnancy and child birth... The woman shuddered violently at the thought.

She couldn't do it. Not yet.

She needed help. She needed someone to help her get through her fears. But who could she go to? Not any of the pack, except maybe Isa... But she didn't know the woman very well; she wouldn't burden her like that. Not Giacinto; she had her own worries to deal with. Taylor...? No, she couldn't burden her sister with any of her petty troubles.

She didn't even want to tell Zeke that she was so worried. She had felt so embarrassed that he had seen her cry over it before, she wouldn't bring the subject up again.

She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She didn't want to tell anyone about her troubles, but she knew she had to try and get over it and the only way to do that was get help.

Taylor hesitated outside of what she believed to be Moe's new house

she could smell the familiar scents lingering around it, and could feel how safe it was...but it only made her hesitate more

why should someone like her come along and disturb such a peacful and safe place

however, eventually, she did knock on the door of the home as she really needed to speak to moe

however, it was going to be hard to say anything

she needed to speak about some of the things bothering her, and ask advice on how to try and seek forgiveness instead of just running from her problems now

she was ure moe could help her as she had such a kind heart...but would Taylor be able to get around her pride and fear to take on advice?

this was going to be hard

The Hybrid looked up when a knock came at the doorbell.

She wiped at her cheeks to try and get rid of any trace of tears. She hoped her eyes weren't too red.

Her tongue ran over her lower lip as she brushed out her hair with her fingers and stood, padding towards the door.

She forced a smile onto her face then opened the door.

"Nee-chan! Come in, come in."

as soon as her she saw Moe's eyes, being slightly read glossy and her cheeks tear streaked, her mind raced through all kinds of possibilities that made her upset

pushing her troubles to the side for now, as she could deal with them later, she did as moe asked, but wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her, shutting the door behind her and guiding her to a seat like she had been in the house previously but obviously hadn't

she sat the woman down and knelt down in front of her, holding her hands

"Imouto....what's wrong? why were you crying? and don't lie to me and say it's nothing, as it's obviously something. your smile was forced, your eyes are red and glassy, and you're cheeks are tear streaked. you were crying, and you only do that when you're really upset. so what's wrong?" Taylor said, instantly cutting through the crap, but with more tact and a softer tone than usual, squeezing Moe's hands comfortingly

her own problems could certainly wait.

"I'm fine," she said immediately.

She wouldn't burden Taylor with her problems. Her problem were hers to deal with so she wouldn't involve anyone. No one needed to be involved.

She'd get over it herself eventually.

"Nothing's wrong, everything's fine," she insisted, tugging her hands from the woman's grip.

Taylor growled under her breath and looked to the side as she pulled out a cigarette, leaving it unlit, and simply had it hanging between her teeth

"Moe....i would never lie to you......so why do you lie to me? what's wrong? please, just tell me what's wrong. i could help you...you know i can. if you think of me as your big sister, rely on me a little." she paused, thinking for a moment....Moe never liked burndering others...so maybe they could share? "how about this?...you tell me what's bothering you, you let me help you......a-and.......and i'll tell you about some things that are bothering me....you told me to come to you when i felt like moving on but couldn't do so by myself any more....when i needed a little support. i kinda need it right now.....why don't we help each other out then?" she asked, feeling a very faint blush covering the bridge of her nose

she was damned embarrassed that she had to lean on someone and that she was out of steam on trying to move past her latest obstical

but she really did need the help...even if it cut her pride and ego up something fierce

Moe looked away, eyes downcast. She was ashamed of lying to the woman, but she really couldn't tell her.

Not verbally at least.

"G-go check the laptop," she whispered shakily.

The woman would find all the answers to why she was upset in the open tabs on the computer.

Taylor sighed quietly but did as she was asked

she stood up and went over to the laptop, moving her fingers over the touch pad and making it come back to life, the screen lighting up

Taylor's eyes scanned the different tabs, her eyes softening slightly and posture relaxing

Moe had Tocophobia....

"oh Imouto....." she murmured with a slight smile, going back to the woman and sitting next to her, pulling her into her side "you're scared of having a child? why? is this what's been bothering you?" she asked in a murmured

Taylor had been to see enough birthings in her tribe, and had a second hand experience of the pregnancy period through the bonds that ran through the tribe to know that Pregnancy wasn't horrible

granted, it can be a bit scary, and the birthing hurts a lot, but it's generally a wonderful feeling unless there were complications, and that can be tended to swiftly

She pulled her legs up and buried her face in her knees when Taylor moved across the room.

She didn't resist when Taylor pulled her against her side, but she didn't move. She kept her face hidden in her knees.

"Mother... She told me about being pregnant."

It had scared her. Kae had told her nothing but bad things about pregnancy and childbirth. It had scared her beyond belief. She couldn't.... Knowing what she knew about her mother's pregnancy, she just couldn't go through it herself, no matter how much she wanted children.

Taylor scowled slightly

what did that spiteful woman tell you to get you so scared of pregnancy? it's supposed to be a very happy time for the mother, and it a wonderful feeling for the mother. to have your own child growing inside you is supposed to be special...not horrible. Taylor murmured, sighing softly

she was sure that Kae had told her some rather nasty things about childbirth as it's painful, but the woman might just have had some complications with Moe due to Moe being a Hybrid...but Moe wouldn't have that trouble as her Lycan blood is dominant enough for her to shift, so having lycan pups would be a normal and comfortable experience...until the birthing

She shook her head softly.

She didn't want to talk about it, that scared her more.

If she could, Moe would just go on as she had, ignoring pregnancy and hoping to god it never came her way.

She had been trying to get through life without thinking about pups for over two hundred years. And now she couldn't escape them. Aodh wanted them, Giacinto wanted them, Zeke wanted them. Even she wanted them.

But she didn't want pregnancy or childbirth.

Taylor sighed quietly

she closed her eyes and took a calming breath and ran her hand through her hair

why don't you tell me what you're scared of the most, and i'll tell you what it's like? in my Tribe, when i was young, we had to go to Birthings, sort of acting like Midwives in a sense, and would aid a mother in giving birth and know the insides and outs of pregnancy. hell, because of the Tribe Bonds, we would feel what the mother was feeling in a dilute way. so i can tell you exactly what Pregnancy is like.....it may help you with you fear. she murrmured, rubbing the smaller one's shoudlers

she hadn't seen Moe this scared before except when she thought Zeke was going to die

She shook her head with a small whimper.

She didn't want to. Talking about it would make it seem more real. She wanted to go on without thinking about pregnancy.

But she couldn't do that; she knew she couldn't.

If she wanted children, she had to face her fears.

"She told me that it hurt..." she whispered softly. "That there was nothing but pain. It was a waste of nine months. I-I... She hated me because of what she went through during pregnancy and childbirth."

Tears spilled down her cheeks. She feared that more than any pain she'd ever get. She feared hating her pups like her mother had hated her because of what she was going to go through when having them.

Taylor chuckled lightly, but slightly bitterly only because of kae

"now let me tell you this. the only part that genuinly hurts is the child birth and the Labor Pains, but that only happens at the end of the nine months. there will be back ache when the child is nearly fully developed as it's a constant weight you're having to support, but a massage can tend to that. if you get enough rest, there's not much pain at all. Taylor explained, gesturing with a hand slightly

she smiled at Moe

the only other uncomfortable bit other than child birth and back ache is morning sickness at first. everyone gets it. but it's very easily delt with any ways. Taylor added

she wasn't going to deny there were painful and nasty bits, but a majority of the pregnancy wasn't horrible at all

she would try her best to convince the woman next to her of this

She shook her head again.

These soft words weren't going to convince her that everything was okay with pregnancy. Her mother had beaten the terrors of pregnancy into her for over two centuries.

It'd take more than a few soft words to convince her.

And she hated that.

Taylor sighed heavily, frowning soflty as she thought

words weren't getting through to the girl easily...she needed to think of something else to try and get through to the Hybrid

she closed her eyes and rested her chin on Moe's head as she thought, idly rubbing the other's shoulders soothingly as she thought

the mothers of her old Tribe used to do something with the youngsters to calm their fears about child brith and carrying a child

something that she was also taught to do when the mother's required aid in convincing some of the more timid ones

she chewed on her unlit fag for a moment before grinning as she remembered

pulling back slightly she looked down at moe

now, Imouto...i'm going to do something that i used to do with my tribe with the younger girls that were uncertain about pregnancy. it's been a while since i've done this, but it always helpd the girls understand and calm down. ican't garuntee how effective it will be for you as you're a Hybrid, but you still have elf blood, and i regard you as my sister, and so a part of my tribe. she explained

she then put one hand on Moe's Abdomen and the other on her forehead

she slowed everything down, and calmed her heart rate as she gathered up everything that she knew of childbirth and the feelings that she got from other mothers. she then concentrated them and channled those thoughts through to moe

she could already tell that the effect wasn't as strong as it used to be, one becuase the memories weren't as strong now, and also, because of Moe's Hybrid status, but it may help her fears

she made moe feel the warm happy feeling mother's got from knowing they were carrying their child, understand how it would grow in them, but also showed her some of the discomforts of having a large weight there constantly and some of the tiredness, but showed her the feeling she may have with the child moving inside her. the child kicking wouldn't hurt, but just be a bump

she showed her the good things in childbearing and showed her some images of childbirth, but keeping the images vague

she wouldn't lie, but she didn't want to scar Moe too much

when her energy was draining away, Taylor pulled back her hands and breathed heavily, trying to regain her breath and slumped forwards slightly

"wow...it's been a while since i did that...i'm getting old" she chuckled, pushing her hair out her face and then looking at moe "see? Pregnancy isn't terrifiying. yes, there are some scary and painful moments, but that's why you have family. we'll be here to help you every step of the way. first time mothers will always be a little scared, but you're not alone. Taylor said with a small smile, leaning her forehead on Moe's

Moe flinched when she felt foreign emotions.

The Clan had used emotional connections before. They always communicated with each other through emotions. But none of them had used it with her. She wasn't good enough for them to waste the effort it took to establish a connection like that.

But she slowly began to relax.

This...didn't feel to bad. There were a few hiccups that she knew she wouldn't like, but otherwise it didn't seem entirely unpleasant.

It was nothing like what Kae described.

Her green eyes fluttered open slowly. "It's...not as bad as Mother told me it was."

Taylor smiled a little as she took a final deep breath to fully calm her breathing

"see? not too bad. yes, there are some rough areas. but that's where me, zeke, and the rest of your family come in. there will be mood swings, morning sickness, back ache and all that, but most of the time, it's really just a very pleasant feeling that you've helped to create a new life, and that it's growing inside of you, and that it's yours. may also start craving for odd foods as well *chuckle* but i'm sure your amazing cooking skills will sort that out" she explained, leaning back against the couch and looking up at the ceiling

looking back down, she smiled at moe

"now that you know that pregnancy isn't all that bad....you wanna speak to me more about it? like what's bothering you about it in particular. i'm sure i can help you *points at self* self proclaimed pregnancy expert here after playing midwife so many times." she then pointed at Moe "and say nothing about that being a part of my feminine side or anything like that or along those lines." she said, glaring jokingly

She nodded gently.

Perhaps...she was ready for children.

Her hands fell to press against her stomach and she ran her tongue over her lower lip.

Could she have her own children? Would she b a good mother? She could already see Zeke as a wonderful father, but she didn't know if she had what it took to be a good mother. Would she be able to always be there for her children, love them unconditionally?

"I was always scared of how much it hurt." Her hands rested in her lap, fingers of one hand toying with her claddagh ring idly. "Mother always made it out to be the worst pain imaginable. It scared me. But you showed me that... I'm conflicted."

Her lips quirked upwards a little.

Taylor paused and tapped her finger against her chin, thinking and choosing her words carefully

right.....i'm not going to lie....but giving birth, and the labor pains....they really are something that make many many mothers double take. it hurts. a lot. to the point you curse your husband for putting you in such a state. however...once you've finally given birth, a great sense of relief washes over, and you can only think about your kids and wanting to see what they look like, what features they have inherited from either yourself of your husband. the moment you hold the new born babe in your arms...*breathy chuckle* from what i felt through the mother's, it's indescribably amazing. it's just something that connects you and the child. this happens with true mothers, mothers who are ready to have children, who are prepared, but who are also caring and kind. i feel you're all of this, so i think you'll be strong enough to endure the birthing and see the light at the end of it all she explained, gesturing with her hands a little

she tried to think of how to describe the feeling of holding your child in your arms, and struggled as she'd never had the sensation herself

the feeling....of holding your child in your arms.....like i said....it's something else. it's like seeing the first ray of light from the sun after a blizzard...smelling the first spring flowers...first kiss.......meeting the one you love......sheer contentment...all rolled into one. that's what i felt from the other Mothers. that's about as close as i can get to describing having your first child. it makes all of the pain worth while. you can also think that only a few moments of pain for years of happyness is a fair price. she said, frowning slightly as she tried to find the right words

"I'm...not as scared as I was." She was terrified of it not twenty minutes ago, but now pregnancy and childbirth seemed... She felt like she'd be able to got through it.

"I've been through pain, Nee-chan. I've been beaten almost to death more times than I can count. Childbirth... It couldn't hurt more than that; not from what you've shown me."

Her tongue ran over her lower lip.

"I think Zeke and I have a lot to talk about tonight," she murmured softly. The two of them would definitely need to talk about this.

But she hoped she'd have children some time soon.

The only thing that had been holding her back was the thought of the excruciating pain her mother told her that she'd go through. But now she knew that the pain wasn't as bas as her mother told her it was, she had no reason to hold back any longer. She was free to have the children she always wanted.

Taylor gave a relieved smile and kissed the top of her sister's forehead

"i'm glad. that you think you'll be able to go through it. yes, there are worse pains than childbirth, but that doesn't mean it'll be pleasent. but i'll be there to help. *chuckles* i'll be the one you can turn to about any questions that you think of or any problems you may encounter. i don't want you hesitating about it either. also, Zeke can come and ask me questions as well as i'd often be the one explaining things to husbands when their wives were eating strangely or doing odd actions because of the pregnancy *chuckle* she said, draping an arm around Moe's shoulders

she smiled at the woman and pushed her fringe out of her face

you will be a great mother, by the way. you're kind, caring, and see the very best in many. it's a skill i don't have, and probably never will. you're a very strong person. you'll be great. you and Zeke together, the kids will be wonderful. and with your Pack, me, and most likely others, those pups will be the world's most protected pups in history she snickered grinning brightly for the first time in a while

she smiled and gave small grins, but not a bright one

she was glad that she had helped her sister

She nodded.

"I'll be sure to tell him that if he starts to get worried about my eating habits." Not that she had much of an eating habit to begin with; she barely ate. She ate maybe a third of what she should eat, if that.

The Hybrid leaned against her sister, eyes sliding closed.

"God help whoever does something bad to my pups. An assassin for a mother, a brute for a father, Grandaddy and brother are strong and merciless when it comes to family, great Grandaddy is an alpha. Great Grandma is the oldest vampire in the world, Auntie is a bounty hunter."

She smiled softly. "Excuse the language, but anyone that even looks at the pups wrong are fucked."

Taylor simply laughed

not half assed laugh or a dark laugh or anything along those line

just a plain and simple happy laugh.

aye. i'll be sure to help him as much as possible. this is something that needs both parents working on. but yeah, you'll find your food intake will increase dramatically. don't over do it and resist the craving sometimes to simply eat or you'll put on too much weight. you just need to eat enough to sustain you and your little ones. she explained

she snickered

aye. anyone that so much as makes a finger flinch at the pups and they'll be finding blades, guns, fangs and claws at every vital they have and glares strong enough to turn their dust into atoms. she chuckled and ruffled the other's hair

those pups are going to be so protected it would make fort knox seem like an open feild with the people inside wearing 'shoot me i'm open' sighns

She nodded.

"I know what happens during pregnancy. I've read about it a lot."

Whenever she had a free chance she read through websites about it, trying to find a way to disprove what her mother had said. She hadn't been able to dissuade herself from believing it hurt a lot but she knew pregnancy inside out.

Moe ducked, raising her hands to push Taylor's hand away as she tried to ruffle her hair. "Nee-chan!" she whined, brushing her fingers through the waist length locks with a pout to try and neaten them out.