Hurt (for Jean, if Bee's alive *pokes her*)

Gabriel stretched out on the bed quietly, burying his head in the pillow. He had seen them. Jean and Jace. He had caught a glimpse of them from a distance, caught up in each other, unrecognisable at first. And the worst part was that for a moment, for just one moment, he thought that they were lovers.

He should have known that it was going to be like this. Of course, he would find the one person that made him happy, only for him to be taken away again. Or rather, leave of his own free will. Jean had made the first move. He had seen that.

Then Jean was unhappy?

He wished he could be angry. He really did. It would make things easier. But sometimes, it wasn't possible.

Jean-Claude sighed heavily as he loped down the halls towards his room.

It hadn't felt wrong at the time, but now... Now that he had had time to think about it, he felt terrible.

He didn't want to face his boyfriend, but he wouldn't try and keep it secret. That'd only hurt both of them more in the long run.

The fledgeling stopped when he saw Gabe lying on his bed, face-down, looking less than happy.

His mouth opened a little to say something before he gave a heavy sigh and padded towards the bed, perching on the edge and reaching out to rest a hand on his lower back, thumb stroking his skin slowly.

"You saw it." Wasn't a question. "It shouldn't have happened." Wasn't an apology.

"I thought you said I could trust you."

After the incident with Claire, he had seen how much it hurt Jean when he didn't trust him. And he had tried to be less possessive. It didn't come naturally to him, but he had really tried. And the moment he had let his guard down, Jean had done this. It really... it hurt.

He flinched and looked away from the man in shame.

"...I was wrong."

The man continued to pet Gabe's back as his eyes focussed on a point of the wall opposite him.

"You shouldn't have trusted me. You shouldn't trust me."

Gabriel glanced up at him, feelings confused in his chest. He didn't like seeing Jean like this. But then... why should he feel bad? Wasn't it Jean who had hurt him? Not the other way around.

But he couldn't help but feel regretful for what he said, looking at Jean's face now.

The man shifted closer to his lover, curling into Jean's side. He didn't say any words of forgiveness or reassurance, but he wanted to be close to Jean now. Whether Jean took that as forgiveness was up to him.

He hugged the man, pulling him closer.

Jean-Claude's eyes slid shut as he nuzzled against his lover, inhaling the scent of him and enjoying his warmth.

"I'm sorry for breaking your trust in me."

Gabriel didn't want to forgive this easily. It felt like he was making himself vulnerable again and that made him feel like an idiot. But... he couldn't help it. He knew that he couldn't push Jean away right now, even if he wanted to.

He loved him too much.

His arms curled around the man's waist, a little hesitantly, kissing his forehead gently. Why could he not just be selfish any more? Just like he used to? Life was so much simpler back then.

"I know you can't forgive me just yet. I wouldn't forgive me at all," he murmured into his lovers neck.

He nuzzled closer, pressing the length of his body against Gabe's.

"But I dont want this to end us." He didn't want to break up with Gabe. He meant too much to him to have this end over something like that.

"I..."

His feelings now were out of his control. They were completely irrational, and if he had any sense, any sense at all, he wouldn't, but...

"I-I do forgive you."

He cursed himself for it, too. He really wished that he didn't forgive him. It wasn't sensible, and his self-preservatory instinct was failing him but he just... did. And he wished he was still selfish. He really wished he was.

"You shouldn't," he murmured, hugging the man closer.

He didn't want to be forgiven so easily. He wanted the man to be angry at him; make him feel like shit for doing what he did.

But here he was forgiving him.

And he couldn't feel angry at his lover for doing it. All he could feel was relief.

"I know."

But he still curled closer into his lover, heaving a sigh that was mingled with relief, pain and comfort as his arms tightened around Jean. He wished he could understand Jean. Really, he did. And it made him worry because Jean hadn't assured him of his feelings. Did Jean even still love him? Had he ever loved him to begin with? Surely that wasn't something you risked for a quick fuck.

He pressed his lips together, eyes squeezing shut as he hugged his sire.

He wanted to tell the man that he loved him, but he felt that the expression would be soured if he said it now, after what he had done.

And so he warred with himself internally.

To tell Gabe or to not?

Why would Jean suddenly do this? Gabriel gave him blood and sex. In fact, he was generally a bit worried sometimes he gave him too much sex. Why would Jean go looking for it somewhere else? There was only one possible explanation and he didn't really want to think about it, but...

"Are you tired of me?"

The question hung in the air.

His mouth opened then he sighed.

"Yes and no."

He held up a hand before Gabe could say anything. "I'm young. I've had sex with a handful of people. I'm young and inexperienced and want to know more about it. I'm not tired of you, Gabe. But I want to experiment with different positions, toys and people."

He didn't know if the explanation had made it better or worse.

He wasn't sure himself whether that was hurtful or reassuring. It was nice to know Jean wasn't completely tired of him, but to know that he wasn't enough for Jean like that...

"Just... involve me too next time?"

He wouldn't like seeing anyone else touch his fledgling, but he would rather be there. Just to make sure it was just sex, and that there was no deeper meaning behind it. He would feel insecure if he didn't know what Jean was doing behind his back.

He nodded silently, tense shoulders relaxing.

No harsh, hateful words.

That was good. It meant Gabe didn't hate him for what he had done.

His words almost had a grin forming on his lips. Involve him next time...? He felt bad thinking of it now, but his mind couldn't help but to wander to what would happen if he did involve Gabe.

He noticed the gleam in the man's eye and shot a warning glance up at him. "Not yet." he murmured.

Whilst he was feeling forgiving, thinking about having a threesome when he was this hurt really wasn't his priority. It would take him some time to get used to other people touching Jean as it was, and he would need to let his feelings heal over a little before he could think about it.

But he still snuggled into him with a contented sigh, ignoring the pained beating of his heart.

"I know, I know."

He hugged Gave closer with a small sigh. "But I'm just out of my teens. I'm horny more than I care to admit."

"Like this one time when I was in school, taking one of my final exams. I was about half way through it when this thought of my girlfriend at the time throwing me down on the desk I was working on and fucking me."

The fledgeling chuckled slowly. "Not a thought I wanted right in the middle of an exam."

He chuckled quietly, slowly starting to feel a little better. "Try going to a public bath house when you're horny and homosexuality is illegal."

That had certainly been fun trying to control his own bodily reactions on pain of prison. By comparison, in his view, Jean had it quite easy during his teenage years. The past had been really quite risky as far as his sexuality was concerned.

Jean-Claude snorted a laugh.

"That must have sucked ass." He couldn't imagine having a part of who he was being illegal.

"You must have fapped a lot," he chuckled, nuzzling against the man.

"Fapped?" he frowned in confusion.

Generally he could keep up with the new slang, but there were a couple of less frequently used words that confused him. He didn't like it. It made him feel like an old man. But then it was probably partly due to the language barrier too.

"Jerked-off."

His shoulders shook in a laugh.

"Sometimes it's hard to forget you're an old man." He nudged him. "How old are you, anyway?" He couldn't remember if he had asked him or not. And if he ahd asked him, he couldn't remember the answer.

He grinned. "It's rude to ask that."

Despite knowing that his age couldn't possibly affect the way he looked, it was still something he felt self-conscious about. Which was weird, bearing in mind that there were vampires a lot older than him.

"But yes, I suppose I did." he laughed softly. Not that he would have ever admitted it at the time of course. People had been a lot more uptight back then.

"What is my generation, if not rude?"

He nudged his sire. "How old are you?" he asked insistently. He was curious now and his curiosity wouldn't be satisfied until he knew the answer.

Jean-Claude stuck his tongue out. "Don't need to fap any more though, ay?"

"One hundred and thirteen."

He knew that it really wasn't that old for vampires in the grand scheme of things, but he still had a human view of age, so to him, it still seemed absolutely ancient.

"No, not any more. You'll have me all tired out, an old man like me." he teased gently.

Not that he would get tired out. His sex drive was still pretty insatiable really. Though Jean had seemed to be more eager than even him recently. Perhaps it was because he was starting to get over the shock of being turned now.