Trapped in the Loop

Zeke nodded, a faint frown gracing his lips.
"Similar to what I did, during one of the dog fights I started a riot in the holding cells.
It got messy, I regret that most of the others took silver arrows to the chest.
Still, I think they welcomed death, I would of too if I had of been me, but I managed to out run them.
I thank the heavens that I have black fur, probably the only reason I got away."

Zeke had been one of the biggest wolves in that clan, it still shocked him that he had not been put down earlier, he was known to cause trouble. But he won fights so that's what kept him alive, they made good money betting on him.

"Silver is a curse." He sighed heavily, running his hands through his already mussed hair. "When the day comes that you see it as a gift you know your life has been less than pleasant."

He had begged for silver a number of times. He wouldn't tell anyone, but he owned silver just for the purpose of killing himself. When he was going to die, he'd do it on his own terms. Nothing was going to kill him; he'd do it himself.

"We're a lot alike, Zeke." He pursed his lips then gave a soft sigh. "I'm still trying to decide whether that's a good or bad thing."

One one side of the coin, it was good that they both had someone to relate to. They weren't alone in their torture like some others were. They could rely on each other during rough patches.

But on the other side, Alek wasn't happy with anyone he was close enough to call family being through even a fraction of what he had been through. Slavery and torture were things that'd make a grown man cringe; supernatural slavery more so. It wasn't something he wanted his family knowing about or experiencing. Not after the scars it had left on him.

"It's never a good thing to find someone who knows your pain.
Though I do take some solace in knowing you understand me and how my actions may not be my own at times.
It really does pain me to know another has suffered as I have, if not more so.
I would not have wished that life on my worst enemy let alone someone who I consider family."

This was one of those rare moments when Zeke's age showed itself, he spoke quietly, his long forgotten Romanian accent thickening as he spoke with the alpha on a very personal level.

Zeke always tried to act care free despite the fact that at most times he was anything but that.

He lifted a hand to his neck, fingers brushing over the marred skin.

"I know better than most that people have darker sides of them that can appear." He had seen it in so many people in his life. He'd been a witness to it, he had been the one with the darker side and he had been the victim.

He had seen all the sides of that coin.

"I am old, Zeke. From a time when life wasn't as good as it is now, or even as it was five hundred years ago. Its been over three thousand years since I was bought into this life; shit is going to happen. It has happened. I accept what happens because I know that you can't be this old and not go through troubled times."

He shifted, silver eyes flickering to the younger man. "I don't see my life as terrible. I have a pack; I have a home; I have food in my stomach. It's more than some get."

And sometimes he wanted to go back to his childhood. He wanted to go back to the familiarity of it all. He wanted to feel young again. He wanted to go back to hunting with his bare hands and building fires to keep himself warm instead of turning a dial on the wall.

Yes, he liked that the world had advanced, but sometimes he felt lost and wanted to go back to the simple things.

"I suppose you're right, I simply can't look at the world like that yet, I've only been free for a hundred years, the wounds are too raw.

Though when I think about the fact that in my short time free I have found a home, a family and a wife, i feel pretty blessed."

"It'll only be a matter of time."

He gave the man a soft smile. "I've said it before and I'll probably say it again. Time passes and things get more bearable. There'll be a day when you can look back on what you've been through and not feel the hatred and anger."

His fingers ran over his scar again as he stared out at the scenery with muted silver eyes.

"You may not see it now, Zeke, but you have a good lot in life. Don't let the shadows of the past ruin it for you. Enjoy what you have. Love your wife and family; enjoy your home; enjoy the food you get each meal. The small, simple things make all the difference."

"Yeah."
He muttered softly, running his hand through the back of his hair.

"I'm starting to realise that, with each day that goes by I find myself holding onto less anger, I can enjoy the little things and appreciate what I have.
I think Moe has played a large role in fixing those wounds."

He chuckled softly.

"Moe is definitely a miracle to us Lycan." First Coilean, then AOdh to some extent and now Zeke.

If he could bottler her influence and sell it, he'd be rich.

"She's a great girl."

"She is, I'm lucky to have her."

He replied, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"She is definitely a blessing for this pack, I suspect things would be much rougher around here without her."

"We're all lucky to have her."

His smile mirrored Zeke's.

"Without her, you wouldn't have lived through that first meeting with my sons." It was her that calmed the two of them down and taught them mercy. "She has done a great many things to calm down my pack."

"Well lets hope she continues to work her magic as new lycans join the coven, the pack is very close knit at the moment I would hate for some outcasts to rock up and disturb the peace.

Things seem to finally be calming down."
He replied with a slight nod as he lay back on the roof, propping his head on his hands.

He nodded. "Yes, it'd be a shame if the pack started falling apart. But I've dealt with a bigger pack than this and still kept in pretty close so hopefully I can work with the new pups."

His previous pack has been huge compared to this one. There were well over a hundred wolves in his past pack and he was friends with each and every one of them.

"It's nice to have everything calm." Chaos was fun at times, but it could get annoying.

"Yeah, it's a shame there is more to worry about than just the pack when it comes to disturbing the peace.
The rest of the coven influences the state of calm too."

He said, scratching the back of his neck.

"I had a talk to Aeker earlier, he's set off to find his sister, I hope more drama doesn't arise if she returns."
He replied, shaking his head.