Twisted :WARNING: Angst

His face twisted into a mask of pain at the harsh accusations and he shook his head.

"No... It was never a game. You were never a substitute."

His tongue darted over his lower lip. "It's been a hundred years since I last spoke to or saw Kae but it's been much longer since I loved her..."

His shoulders heaved in a shaky sigh. "J-Je pense que Je t'aime... Avira..."

There he had said it. Out loud. For people to hear.

Fuck....he felt sick...

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I think I love you

Avira reacted.

He slammed his elbow back into Coilean’s stomach, leg kicking back and hitting him in the shin. He spun away from the stunned wolf, skidding back several feet and glaring. There was pure pain written over his face.

“I am so sick of everyone lying.” he snarled. “This place masked as a new beginning but it is just the same as everywhere else!”

Avira backed himself up until his legs hit the railing again. He noted blearily that he was shaking, and his knees gave out a moment later. He didn’t know what hurt more. Thinking that Coilean was telling the truth or thinking he was lying.

The vampire bowed his head, trying his hardest to hold in tears. He whispered the words, even as a tear slid down his cheek. It was hot. The first tear he’d cried since… Since the last time he had let someone get close. He was sensing a pattern here.

Whether or not Coilean heard the tiny ‘tá mo chroí istigh ionat’ was hard to tell. The words tasted bitter sweet on his tongue. Avira had been teaching himself how to say it correctly.

He watched the vampire with sad silver eyes, not even bothering to mask the tears, letting them flow freely down his cheeks.

The hot tears painted tracks down his pale cheeks as he watched his lover collapse back against the railings.

He reached out pathetically, staggering forwards a step but froze, staring at the boy in shock.

Tá mo chroí istigh ionat, he repeated in his head. Had the boy really just... Did he just say that?

He collapsed onto his knees in front of the boy, cupping his cheeks and lifting his face to press a passionate kiss to his lips.

"Avira, a ghrá mo chroí, tá mo chroí istigh ionat," he muttered between desperate kisses.

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The love of my heart, my heart is within you

Avira wanted so badly to just punch him, push him away, make him LEAVE. Leave NOW. But he couldn’t. His will was broken and he couldn’t find a way to put it back together.

His hands gripped the front of Coilean’s shirt, pulling him desperately closer. He clung to the wolf, returning each kiss feverishly, whimpering softly, pitifully. Lightning flashed overhead, illuminating the tears on his cheeks.

“Ta mo chroi istigh ionat.” he whispered against Coilean’s lips. “I do not want to and I do not know why I do, but I do. I do not know whether you are lying to me or not any longer, but I cannot stop and it just hurts more…”

He hid his face against Coilean’s chest, sobbing softly.

He pulled his sobbing lover against him, pressing kisses against the crown of his head as his hands rubbed his back comfortingly.

"Don't question feelings, a ghrá mo chroí, they just get more and more confusing," he murmured with a small smile, pulling the younger man against him.

He coaxed the man away from his chest, lifting his chin and brushing away the tear-tracks on his cheeks.

He leaned down for a soft kiss, fingers sliding up into his hair.

Avira let his eyes flutter shut, lips pressing to Coilean’s. It was almost shy. Shyer even than their first kiss, like suddenly Avira was inexperienced again, unsure. What did he do? And how did he do it right?

His fingers tightened in Coilean’s shirt, pulling him closer. Another tear made its way down his cheek, but the wolf brushed it away.

Avira mewled softly, wishing this moment would never end.

Caterva however, proved that nothing is permanent, hissing loudly as the roof door was opened.

His lips curled into a soft smile.

"I love you," he murmured. "Je t'aime. Nan neol salanghae. Tá mo chroí istigh ionat."

Between each declaration, he pressed his lips against his vampire's for another desperate kiss.

But when the door opened and he caught the scent, he froze.

"Dont let me kill him," he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut. "Don't let me kill him!"

Aodh padded up the stair well to the roof, humming to himself.

He stopped dead, though, when his silver eyes fell on the two curled together against the railings.

"...Fuck."

He was dead.

The Lycan took a hesitant step back, fear etched onto his face.

“I love you.” Avira whispered to Coilean. “Je t’aime, I love you Coilean.”

He returned each kiss just as desperately, needing the assurance that the other was right there. It was foolishness. He had always told himself that, in a situation such as this, he would brush aside the person who could potentially do him harm.

But he couldn’t. He’d been stupid, he had fallen in love. And he didn’t want it to go away.

The door opened and he froze, then the scent hit his nose. Avira didn’t dare look up, just ducked his head and hid against Coilean’s chest. He was not scared, he was…. He didn’t know, but the only remedy seemed to be Coilean’s warm embrace.

He pulled Avira closer, glaring at his brother over his shoulder.

"What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want?" he hissed in a low, deadly tone.

Why would his brother even think of coming anywhere near them after what he had done?

He knew Aodh was stupid, but he didn't think his stupidity stretched that far.

That cold voice chilled him to the bone.

Yes, he had heard that tone from his brother before, but never aimed at himself. Usually it was aimed at Alek.

He stood silently, just staring at his seething brother.

Say something. Anything!

...Not anything. Say something that won't get you killed.

His mouth flopped open as he tried to find something not stupid to say.

Silence followed.

Avira didn’t dare speak up. This was a brother’s quarrel and, more to the point, it was his fault it even existed.

He wasn’t sure which one was telling the truth and which one was lying. He wasn’t even sure there was a truth and a lie, maybe they were both being honest. But his foolish heart demanded he trust Coilean. So he would.

The vampire pressed a little closer, fingers tightening in Coilean’s shirt. Caterva hissed loudly at the werewolf, eyeing him reproachfully.

"You told him about Kae!" he yelled, pulling Avira closer to him.

He was still puzzling over why. Aodh hated his wife with a passion. He refused to talk about her more often than not.

So why now?

Why, when he had finally found someone to love that actually loved him back, would he sabotage it?

His mind flickered to the hot nights, the soft kisses, the whispered words and suddenly he understood.

Jealousy.

The younger twin gave his brother a pitying stare. "Oh, Aodh..."

"You're still married to the bitch, aren't you?"

His eyes turned to the vampire and he grinned. "Yeah, you herd right, you dearest Coilean is still married. All these soft words and kisses he's giving you? They mean nothing; he's a taken man."

The older Lycan's eyes widened at the look.

No. Nonononononono. No! He began shaking his head fiercely, pointing at his brother. "Don't you dare pity me. Not now, not ever!"

Avira squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face against Coilean’s chest. No, no he didn’t want to believe it he didn’t want to think about it!

The vampire whimpered, feeling his heart crumbling inside his chest.

Wasn’t it cruel irony. He was so bad around his own kind he fell in love with a lycan instead. A married lycan, whose brother hated him. Avira couldn’t stand it.

He never had been much good with family…

He pulled his lover closer, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of his head. "They mean everything, a ghrá mo chroí. Everything."

"It's you I love and you I have with me. I haven't seen Kae in a century."

He turned his silver eyes back to Aodh and he sighed softly. "What other look can I give you, Dearthair? This love that you have for me..." He shook his head. "It can't go on, Aodh."

Coilean loved his brother, he truly did, but he wouldn't let his brother come between him and someone he loved. And, as much as it hurt him, he'd stop the incestuous relationship with his brother if he carried on with this ridiculous jealousy.

"You are either my brother or my Beta. You cannot be my lover any more."

Aodh watched the display in disgust.

How could Coilean be so lovey-dovey with...with someone that wasn't him...?

He didn't like it. Coilean was his. He and Coilean had been together for eighteen hundred years. They were all they had for so long. They only had their twin. They suffered together, the laughed and cried together.

First he had to deal with Kae and now this vampire...?

Tears pricked at his eyes.

He didn't want his brother abandoning him for someone else. This is what happened last time, with Kae. Coilean stopped spending time with him. He wanted to spend more time with his lover. He almost forgot about his older twin..

A strangled noise escaped him and he gazed at Coilean with lost, lonely silver eyes before turning swiftly, wiping at his eyes and wet cheeks.

Without a word he disappeared down the stairwell.

Avira felt sick.

He felt like his stomach had been wrenched out and twisted into knots, then shoved back into his body. He had been hungry before this, contemplating going into town and coaxing a human into being his meal. But now that hunger was gone.

He just felt like vomiting his own insides.

Coilean winced when he heard the strangled noise, hugging Avira closer.

He buried his face in the vampire's silver hair, eyes welling with tear just like his brothers.

He flinched loudly as the door slammed loudly, blown shut by the wind.

Rest in peace relationship with Aodh, he mourned silently.

He knew then that his relationship with his brother wouldn't be the same again. He'd never be close-knit with Aodh again, There'd always be a rift. He just hoped that he'd at least be able to patch it up somewhat.

Avira didn’t return the hug, but he didn’t pull away either. He didn’t know what to do.

The cold rain beat down on them, but Coilean’s body didn’t seem to be warming him anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and tried not to cry.

He seemed to be doing nothing but causing Coilean trouble, heaps of it. Why? Why did he have to go falling for someone? Anyone at all? It was so foolish…

"He shouldn't bother you any more, Avira," he murmured, fingers running through his lovers hair.

He turned his head to the rain, the water mingling with the few strays tears streaking down his cheeks.

He pressed a soft kiss to he vampire's head as he leaned back against the railngs, coaxing Avira to lean back against his chest.

"Tá mo chroí istigh ionat. If you doubt anything about me, Avira, please don't doubt that I love you."

Avira didn’t reply verbally. He didn’t reply at all, actually. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned against Coilean, pretending like none of this was happening.

He’d been through similar denial before. He’d snap out of it eventually, he knew that, but just now, he was stuck in it. He wanted to be. While denying everything he could tell himself that It was just him and Coilean and everything would be okay.

But it wasn’t okay and it wasn’t just them and everything was very very very very wrong.

He coaxed Avira's face from his chest, holding it between his warm hands. He stared at his lover silently for a long while, thumbs brushing his cheeks gently.

"Je taime. Tá mo chroí istigh ionat. I love you."

The Lycan leaned forwards to kiss Avira tenderly.

Why was there so much happening to break up this relationship when it felt so right? Kae hadn't felt as right as this and everything went so smoothly with that relationship.

"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete," he quoted in a whisper, fngers threading through Avira's hair.

"Don't give up on this because there are a few things going to the doghouse."

Avira closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Coilean’s.

“Je t’aime.” he mumbled softly.

But that wasn’t enough right now. He felt hollow. It wasn’t just that ‘a few things were going wrong’. Everything that he stood against, everything that upset him, everything that made him want to scream and run, seemed to be crashing down on him.

Just like the rain it was soaking through him and weighing him down. And Avira was strong, he knew he was.

But he wasn’t that strong.

"Look at me," he murmured softly. "Open your eyes and really look at me."

He wanted Avira to see that he wasn't broken. Yes, he was sad that his relationship with his brother had broken. Yes, he'd mourn for it a little. But he wasn't broken. he wasn't going to shut himself away from Avira.

He was still here and he was still strong and he wasn't leaving his lover.

He'd be here whenever Avira wanted or needed him.