Twisted :WARNING: Angst

The rain pelted down on the mansion roof, soaking through Avira’s clothing, but the vampire didn’t even notice. He stared out at the landscape, amethyst eyes glassy and far away.

His hair was braided, like it was whenever he was nervous, or on a job. His shirt hung off one shoulder, the rain weighing it down, and he was barefoot. He was also missing the object which had become an almost permanent fixture in his wardrobe.

Coilean’s collar.

It was sitting on Coilean’s pillow, where Avira had left it two days ago. The werewolf had been hunting, or something, and hadn’t come back yet. He should be returning today. Hence Avira was on the roof, not indoors.

Caterva and Ignis sat under the awning, watching their master apprehensively. Avira had not been acting right the last few days.

Coilean had returned from the job that Alek had sent him on and immediately darted to his room, hoping Avira was there.

When his eyes caught sight of the collar he stopped dead and his whole body froze over. Avira was hurt. That was what his mind jumped to immediately.

And quicker than they eye could follow he had sprinted up to the hospital wing, tearing through the infirmary to see if he was there.

He had spoken to the nurse there, asking if she had seen a white-haired man in teh last few days; dead or injured. No luck.

More worried than before and in dire need to cool down, he retrieved the collar from his pillow and headed towards the roof. Rain was good; rain calmed him.

He pushed the door to the roof open and stopped dead for the second time that night.

And again, he moved faster than the eye could follow, dropping the collar and darting to his lover, arms wrapping around him in a tight, relieved hug. "Avira, thank fuck you're all right."

Avira had hoped he would be able to stay on the roof and not have to deal with people for a while. Vampire or otherwise. But apparently his message had not been clear.

Arms wrapped around him, hugging him tightly to a warm body. Avira didn’t move or say a word, letting the werewolf hold him. His mind was in upheaval all at once, torn between screaming and crying with happiness and being furious.

He wanted to lash out, make Coilean back off. Go away. He didn’t want to see him.

But he couldn’t bring himself to hurt Coilean. And that sucked more than anything else, because Avira was used to being able to hurt anyone.

His grip on the railing tightened until it was white knuckled.

"Avira...?" he asked hesitantly, pulling back.

He rested a hand on the younger man's shoulder, coaxing him to turn around.

"Avira, what's wrong, leannán?" He didn't like that tense silence. Where was the greeting? Where was the hug? Where was the 'le loup rouge'?

Avira smacked Coilean’s hand away when it landed on his shoulder.

His own hand fell back to the railing, once more tightening around it until his knuckles were white. He stared out at the rain, ignoring as it soaked him to the bone.

Self loathing was a funny thing. It twisted around your gut and made you feel like vomiting up your insides would be more productive than anything you were doing right now. Avira had felt it before, but he had thought Coilean marked a new chapter in his life.

How very naïve.

The Lycan flinched back as if the vampire struck to kill.

That was new...

What had happened in the few days he had been gone?

"A-Avira...?" He cursed himself for letting his voice crack.

Avira didn’t say a word.

Ignis cowered and slunk underneath Caterva. The black cat covered his white counterpart with his body, watching the pair carefully.

"Avira, what's going on?"

He rested his hand on the vampire's shoulder again, brows furrowed.

"Why won't you look at me...?"

This time Avira whipped around when he smacked Coilean’s hand away. He kept his head hung low, hiding his eyes behind his bangs, the silvery white hair darker once wet. Steely gray.

“Don’t touch me.” he rasped.

The words shot through him.

Dont touch me.

Don't touch me...

"What happened?" he demanded. The vampire wouldn't be acting like this just from a few days apart. Something must have happened while he was away. Something big.

Avira turned away, back to the werewolf.

He walked to the other side of the roof, once more resting his hands on the railing and staring out into space. He didn’t want to talk to Coilean. Truth be told all he wanted to was run as far away from this place as he could and never look back.

He’d known this had been a bad idea. Coming to live in one place. Letting himself grow fond of people. Start a RELATIONSHIP of all things.

"Avira..." He whimpered softly, flinching when he heard how pathetic the sound was.

The silent treatment hurt.

What would prompt the younger man to treat him like this...?

"Avira, please, talk to me," he pleaded, following after the vampire.

“I don’t WANT to talk to you.” Avira hissed.

He snapped his mouth shut, glaring at the landscape. Avira wanted to hurt something, break it to pieces, rip skin from bone and crush it beneath him.

Hatred swam through his mind, and whether it was directed at himself or Coilean was hard to tell.

"What did I do to make you not want to talk to me?"

That was all he wanted to know.

What had he done?

For a long moment, Avira was silent. Then he stood up straight. He turned his eyes on Coilean, and they were cold. Like ice. Only liable to pierce through your heart.

“I do not appreciate being lied to.” he said. “Or used.”

He turned away again.

“I would appreciate you removing yourself from my room.” he said coldly. “And my presence.”

His brows furrowed in confusion.

Lied to? Used?

"How have I done either of those things, L- Avira?" best not anger him any more than he already was by using a pet name.

Avira didn’t bother turning around. He didn’t need to look Coilean in the eye, he didn’t want to either.

“Kae.”

And that was all he said.

Kae...

The Lycan's eyes widened dramatically.

"How do you know that name?" Already he had drawn a conclusion he hoped wasn't right. His brother wouldn't try to sabotage something as important to him as this...would he?

“You might ask your look alike.” Avira said dully.

It didn’t matter though.

What mattered was that Coilean had a wife. Probably a very pretty wife, who he loved, most likely. So what was Avira then? Not a potential anything to be sure. Just a passing fancy. Something to occupy his time.

Look alike...

Aodh.

His fists clenched and he kicked the railings. Hard. A loud crack sounded, signifying a few broken toes. "Aodh, that fucking bastard!" he yelled out.

The Lycan hissed an angry sigh, gripping the railings tightly, the old metal groaning in protest.

After a few long minutes of silence in which the pissed wolf tried to calm himself down enough to speak words other than profanities to his brother, he fimally spoke.

"...I haven't seen her in over a century."

Avira stood straight again and once more turned away. The rain made his clothes cling to his body, and his hair stick to his cheeks. He looked pathetic.

A century wasn’t very long by their standards. Avira was only three centuries old, and half, give or take.

"Avira..."

Screw it...

He wrapped h arms around the man from behind, pulling him back against his chest and burying his face in the man's silver hair.

Dont leave me... he thought pathetically, grip tightening on him a little. Not for something stupid like this.

“Let me go.”

Despite his words, Avira didn’t make any move to pull away. He just stood there, eyes glazed, whole body slumped in defeat. He was absolutely laughable like this. Pathetic.

Avira hated it. His arms were so warm, and he loved the feeling of being held. But it twisted loathing around his stomach again.

He had a wife.

So what was he?

A tear tracked down his cheek and he lifted an arm from around his - was he his boyfriend any more? - to wipe it away with his wrist.

He was crying...

God, he felt so pathetic.

“I would prefer if you stopped this game.” Avira said. “And found some other hapless fool to play pretend with. I have more important things to do with my life and I do not need weighing down with someone who only wishes to use me as a substitute.”

He shrugged Coilean’s arms off and stepped away, crossing his arms over his torso and holding onto himself tightly.