what the hell happened?! i was only gone form the mansion for a while!!

Sharifa decided it was time to go back to the mansion with her new extended family.

she had needed some time to get away. the hectic life at the mansion had exhausted her; but she had also wanted to get familiar with her surroundings, check out the land and the sights to she could make a mental map. among other things. she always checked the borders for threats, beating back any that had ill intent about them.

Sharifa wanted to go to the bar she was at before she had dissapeard though, smirking as she remembered that night with Jace. but there was also something drawing the Dhampire.

she was then glad she was wearing her clothes that made her look like a guy.
she pushed open the door of the bar, the familiar and pungent scents reaching her nose.

she sighed quietly and smiled as she walked up to the bar.

Sharifa ordered a strong rum, and had the bottle left on the table, giving a flirty smile to the barmaid.

she looked around herself, smelling something that was even more familiar than that bar.

then her eyes zeroed in on the familiar figure if Gia, who was currently trying to drown herself in alcohol.

her eyes widened, and she got up, going to sit next to the coven leader.

when she spoke, she made her voice deeper and lit up a cigarette

hello love. what's got a pretty thing such as yourself so down that you're trying to drown in alcohol.

her accent became thicker as her voice went lower, and she looked over at Gia with concern

As soon as Ignicio had laid the ring in her palm, she had bolted from the mansion. She couldn't stand to be there. She needed to escape; even if Aleksandr was still there lurking in the dark halls.

The two silver bands laid on the hardwood bar counter in front of her and a bottle of the Green Fairy sat next to it.

When someone sat down next to her she gave a soft sigh before knocking back another shot.

"Piss off."

sharifa looked down at the table, and saw the rings.
her eyebrows shot up.

she recognised them vaguely, the ones she always saw on the ring fingers of Nico and Gia...and they were now on the table.

she felt her heart break for Gia

Sharifa necked back some of her Rum

i see. so there hasn't been anyone to turn to after... she gestured to the rings i'm guessing not since you're here

she sighed quietly and ran her fingers along the rim of her glass.

you could talk to me if ya like. sometimes it's better to speak to a stranger as they can give another view

she had kept up her image of a man still, smoking quietly on her cigarette

Sharifa wanted the full stry, and she'd get it one way or another

she offered Gia a cigar after she had finished her cigarette, and lit up her own cigar as well

She sent the 'man' a dirty glare between the locks of her fringe for a moment before turning her gaze back to the shelves of liquor and spirits on the back wall of the bar.

She filled the shot glass with another large shot of undiluted absinthe and knocked it back.

Her business was her own and this man - thousands of years younger than her, obviously - had no right or business trying to get in on it.

She'd ignore him.

And that she did, even when a cigar was offered to her. She had half a mind to tell the man that smoking had been banned in public places for seven years just to drive him off.

...or sink her teeth into his neck and kill him.

seeing her mood deteriate, she sighed heavily and took the cigar back.

just then, Altair in his human form came and sat next to Sharifa, who was now glaring at the spirit as he sat next to her

fuck. him being there would blow her cover! she came back to the surrounding area wanting to get back to the mansion slowly! and if gia knew she was around after dissappearing for so long...and it seems when she could have been there to help somehow...she imagined this could only go badly

however, she stuck it out and didn't bolt it, simply settling for glowering into her drink before trying to speak to gia again

now now. i can smell the anger. no point killing me here. might regret it later. i don't know, of course *shrug* but hey. possibilities.

her eyes flickered over to Altiar who was enjoying her discomfort...he had purpously come in because he didn't like how Sharifa was handling the situation

"I could regret nothing at this point," was her quiet sigh. So quiet that Sharifa would have to strain to hear it.

What had she done? Ended a mating that had lasted five hundred years with a man that she loved because it wasn't beneficial. They weren't even married any more, as the rings lying tauntingly in front of her screamed.

She ran her hands through her hair roughly then rested her elbows on the counter, hiding her face in her hands.

It was the worst decision she had felt she had ever made.

Yet it could also be the best if she played her cards right and found a powerful and influential person to mate.

SHarifa blinked as Gia hadn't commented on Altiar's presence....she must be really out of it.

she smirked at Altair who was scowling slightly, and turned back to Gia

ever thought the guy could have broken up with you because he loved you? if it's tearing you up this much, i'm guessing you both loved eachother a lot. i'm not old and have been through as much as you i'm guessing, but i know that love can be a messy and complicated business and is a double edged sword really.

she had seen the love between them, and doubted anything short of the apocolypse would break them up like this

At that, she exploded. "I said piss off!" she yelled, standing abruptly, glaring at Sharifa with fierce eyes.

She stood there for a minute, glare never wavering before turning on her heels a disappearing from the bar.

How dare he? how dare he assume what happened like that?

She threw a punch at the wall of the alley she had stormed down, cracking concrete, brick and bone.

A loud, angered scream tore from her throat as she crumbled to the ground, lying against the damaged wall pitifully.

she sighed, closing her eyes and arching an eyebrow.

Gia hadn't changed a bit.

seems her dude apperance just fucked things up royally, so it was time to see her as Sharifa.

she just wouldn't go back to the mansion yet.

she went to the toilet to quickly change into her female apperance, unbinding herself and adjusting her whit shirt so it exposed her torso as she tied the end of her shit, the part that wasn't. she let her hair out of the pony tail and slid off her jacket and tucked her jeans into her boots.

walking outside, she saw GIa leaning against a destroyed wall and rolled her eyes.

sweetness, it's not polite to destroy another person's property y'know

she gave a sad smile and walked over to her as Altair, back in his Eagle form, settled on her shoulder.

Sharifa leaned against the wall next to Gia and sighed quietly.

you really must be out of it if you didn't recognise my scent or Altair back there, Sweetness

"There's a reason I didn't pay when I stormed out," she muttered, curling into a tighter ball.

Along with many other establishments around the world, the bar belonged to her.

Not just anyone would be allowed an entire bottle of the Green Fairy uninhibited like that. Not in one of her bars.

"Piss off." She didn't want to see anyone that seemed even remotely familiar.

she rolled her eyes.

Sweetness? you're acting like a brat. i'm guessing, form what i know of you, you bolted before anyone could say anything about anything. what i said in the bar is true. ever thought that? that he left you out of love? to protect you? and the rest of the coven? things are getting tense over a lot of things, and he seemed to think of the most logical solution to keep everyone safe

she sat on the floor and smoked her cigar.

it had been a while since she saw a familiar face. but she hadn't wanted to see gia like this.

you're far more sensitive than you let on, y'know. you're a toasted marshmellow (she had no idea where that thought came from) crunchy and hard on the outside, gooey on the inside, and very sweet.

she quietly snickered at the image it brought up

sighing out a cloud of smoke, she looked at Gia

however, here i am, sitting next to you after dissappearing for a few months, probably leaving you alone, and i'm making assumptions. she took a drag on her cigar tell me what happened

she hated how broken Gia looked

"I left him."

It was all that she could say and all that needed to be said.

She had left Ignicio and that was the end of it.

Sharifa's mind stopped dead then.

ah...now she felt like an insensitive prick.

she ran a hand through her hair, sighing heavily, hitting her head with the heel of her hand

agh! you people are so difficult! so much drama. the next bit was muttered under her breath *sigh* makes me think i should disappear again

she looked over at Gia, huffing quietly and pulled the woman into a loose one armed hug, guessing she'll be thrown off again in a sec

Sweetness...i'm not gonna even try and change your mind on this as it's too much effort, and i can see why a break up between you two is... advantageous. however, you have now made the choice. so you gotta live with it. drowning yourself in alcohol ain't gonna make anything any better m'dear. first off, i doubt it would actually kill you, and you killing yourself would exasperate things as well. i'm still smelling war on the air, and i've been keeping the boundaries of your territory around here safe as well, beating back a few vampires and other creatures with ill intent for the coven. you need to be in peak condition. you're a coven leader, so breakdowns after hard decisions aren't permitted really. you have to be strong for the coven, or the coven will crumble and every hard choice will be in vein and a waste of time and hurt even more.

she hated lecturing others, but when they were being stupid like this, despite feeling like a bitch, she would tell what she thought to whoever she was leacturing straight

"Then leave. We managed fine in your absence and we'll manage just fine in your continued absence." Her voice was harsh and cold; a tone she had never used in front of the younger woman before. She had no patience with her - or anyone - at the moment.

She didn't move as Sharifa slid an arm around her shoulder. Not even a twitch of muscle.

"How could I forget that people with power aren't allowed to be people any more?" she asked bitterly, face screwing up with ill-concealed rage. Anyone with a title - anyone that had others watching them and going to them for advice or protection or whatever the hell they wanted - couldn't react badly. They weren't allowed to break down. They had to be the perfect unyielding stone-faced bastard.

Who cares if she just shattered her own blackened heart parting with a man she had loved since the day he had hidden aboard her ship and tried to drink from her? Not her, that was for sure; she wasn't allowed.

There could be a war ahead; she wasn't allowed to act like a normal person and mourn her broken heart.

She had to push past it and pretend it didn't affect her in the slightest. All for the sake of every one else and their want to keep her alive to prolong her suffering.

He angered face softened and she stared ahead silently; no emotion - no nothing. If people wanted her to stop being a person, she'd do it. She'd live up to their expectations of being a perfect, unfaltering being.

First start: getting rid of all the emotions that constituted to her being considered a person.

Sharifa saw the change and started getting worried.

oh hell no, Sweetness. that's not the way to go!

she moved so she was crouching in front of Gia, putting he rhands on her shoulder

Look at me Gicanto. look at me properly. her golden eyes stared directly into Gia's now cold eyes. she just hoped she wasn't to late, and that she hadn't just broken the last bits of Gia with her brash words. it's hard being a leader, especially of our coven because of the amount of shit that's going down. i shouldn't have disappeared when i did....really. i know, kinda, what it's like because i'm the coven leader back home, and while i was gone, i got word of more Vampire and Dhampires coming to my coven as well. i can now feel their bonds. so i know being a leader is stressful. however, shutting down and going cold won't help anything, least of all yourself.

she pulled Gia into a loose hug, her hand running over Gia's hair, as the other curled loosely around her shoulders.

i tried being a cold as well....only did damage in the end. the others will be demorolised if you've broken enough that you've retreated into yourself....this will make us weaker and fall apart ourselves. what you have to do is accept you're going to be hurt, and hurt others, and things will be broken. and you also have to accept to push aside feelings in front of others, and try your best to act normal. and then, when the day is done, and you want to have a moment, you drop the facade and let everything out. what i said before, i said wrong. it only takes a few months for me to forget to be a bit more considerate about what i'm saying *weak chuckle*. but any ways....if you need moments, like now, you simply call me up one way or another, and i'll be there to help you through stuff, just like now.

Altair chirruped on Sharifa's shoulder before going over to Gia's and nudging the side of her face fondly

no one's perfect. if they were, life would be as dull as hell i think, and nothing would ever happen. you can't be perfect, as much as you may think you can, and you'll kill yourself trying. but that doesn't mean you can be weak. trying to drown yourself in alcohol won't do fuck all for any body. but i'm here to be the shoulder to cry on, the punch dummy to let out stress on, and be the mom/aunt/sister/lover/grandma/whoever they want me to be so they can vent and get over troubles. it's just who i am, and it's what i do. there's more to healing than the physical m'dear

Sharifa gave a weak smile, still loosely huggin Gia and stroking her hair

Giacinto stared into the dark eyes of the Arabic woman blankly, listening.

And she was slowly feeling better, slowly letting emotion back in and letting herself be herself again.

...Until she mentioned others. She closed back up with an almost tangible snap.

Of course. She couldn't try to recover for herself. It was for the coven. The others. Make us weaker. She meant little more than a leader, evidently. She was just around to keep everyone from killing each other and falling apart.

"If I play the mask long enough, I will become it and never be normal again," she replied monotonously, standing and stepping away from Sharifa's hold. She inhaled softly, flexing her broken hand gently and wincing slightly before turning dead eyes to the younger woman again. "I will not play a lie part time."

But full time? Could she stop being herself - the fun loving, sick, succubus - and become a dead, stone-cold leader like everyone needed? Yes. Would she?

...Yes.

Sharifa saw that Gia collapsed in on herself

she cursed very loudly in her head in many different ways.

however...in her time away, she learnt a bit of temper control, and learnt that raging at Gia may not get the results she wants.

tkaing a calming breath, she looke back into the dead cold eyes of her leader.

brat. stupid bitchy idiotic brat who's far to complicated and makes things worse for herself. why do you do this to yourself?! you know what? fuck the coven! care about yourself properly for once! just imagine that the coven doesn't exist! you don't have responsibility, none of the shit that's gone down has happened, nothing! clean slate, fresh beginning! i know you care for the coven deeply, or you wouldn't go through all this shit for us. however, the coven is always second to your own health and survival, or at least it should be! your self preservation instinct seems to have left the building and demolished its home! honestly woman! use some common sense and stop being so melodramatic! i don't want a cold ass bitch replacing you! and i'm pretty certain that you don't want to either! be selfish for once! look after yourself! the rest of the world doesn't fucking matter right now! only you do! okay? get a goddamn grip of life and shit!

she was irritated, but was also trying to get a reaction out of gia before it was too late

She shook her head, face and voice still emotionless. "I can't." How could she forget about the coven?

The coven was her everything. The reason she lived and breathed. Without the coven, she was nothing. An insecure, weak, pathetic little half-breed that was set to die and doing a pretty good job of it. Without the coven she had nothing else to live for.

If she forgot about the coven, she surely would die.

Her eyes slid shut for the briefest moment before she turned and strode down the alley towards the empty street beyond.

oh no she didn't.

no one turned their back on Sharifa

her lip curling slightly, she suddenly lashed out, grabbing Gia's Shoulder and then slammed her against the wall hard, and pinned her there by placing both of her hands either side of Gia's head and leaning in, glaring.

listen to me good, now , Giacanto. look at me, look at only me. i'm here. i'm here with you. her gaze softened and turned almost pleading, placing a hand on Gia's cheek don't dissappear on me Gia. when i was gone, i missed you, yeah? i know i dissappeared for a bit, and i probably shouldn't have. but i'm here now. physical. i won't break up on you. all you have to do is call, and i'm there to help. she moved her thumb across her cheek if you want to help your coven, not forget them, then don't dissappear on us GIa. sure you'll be here in body....but i can already see the very essence of who you are slipping away she paused to look down for a moment and bit her lip before looking back up and that scares me more than any Lycan or Ancient Vampire or God ever could....

damn.....since when was she this emotional!?

The Succubus merely blinked when she was pinned against the wall. "If you think this will keep me in place, you are sadly mistaken. You are a child and I, dying as I am, far surpass you in strength. You've not tasted the power or strength I possess. Do not make me use it against you."

But she didn't move. She didn't even twitch. She just stared back at the woman and waited.

She felt the warmth of the hand on her cheek and she felt the warm flurry of emotions at the pit of her stomach at the words she was hearing.

"You contradict yourself. Do you want a Coven Leader or a woman? You can only have one, child."

Did she wants Giacinto to be herself or did she want her to lead them into the war with a clear head and devise a strategy that would end in few casualties?

she huffed and hung her head for a moment, simply thinking before looking back up again with new determination

i want the woman, Giacanto, to stay. i want someone who can adapt and change. don't forsake who you are. if you start falling apart, i'll be there to pull you back together again. you're not alone. like i said, i'm her and physical. you many not see me all the time, but i'm just a few words away. everyone is. a leader, a good strong leader, is one that can rely on those they lead. if you want to break, i'll be there to pick you back up and put you back together. *smiles weakly* then beat the shit out of the person that broke you. as will be the rest of the coven. everyone loves you, and we want you happy. if you're happy, we're happy. if your sad, we get angry at whatever makes you sad. it's just how we are because we're a coven. so i want Gia.....not the cold leader.

at that, Sharifa leaned in an kissed her gently, putting as much feeling as she could behind it as she kept her hand on Gia's cheek