Appreciate Your Friends [c]

Tony kept a straight face until she saw Dick's tongue.

Then she lost it, with a howling laugh. She propped herself up against the large window, almost crying with her laughter.

She couldn't help it. This was all just so ridiculous.

She was loving every second of it. Every single second.

After enduring her ridiculous non-stop laughter long enough, he pulled the dildo off the wall and threw it at her.

"Help me, not laugh at me."

But laughter was contagious for him. Besides, it has been a while since he had seen her crying with laughter like that.

Plus, the whole situation was absolutely ridiculous.

He fought his own face to stop himself from cracking a smile.

"Mercy," she cried, still laughing and crying.

"I can't deal with you beating me with a big purple cock!"

That declaration brought a loud snort and even more laughter from her. This situation really couldn't get any more ridiculous if they tried to make it so.

The snort set off his own laughter. Once he started, he couldn't stop. There Giacinto stood, and he sat, with a big purple cock between them, laughing their heads off.

Once he calmed down and his laughter only came out in short bursts giggles, he wiped the corners of his eyes and he turned up to Giacinto.

"That is not the reaction I wanted to have."

Tony just shook her head.

"No. No, you shouldn't be laughing like that if you're trying to give a blowjob."

Tony drew herself upwards again, and picked up the dildo. "Perhaps bright purple isn't the best choice of dummy cock. Though I get the feeling you wouldn't appreciate a live model."

She knew it wouldn't even be an option.

Dick snorted.

"Yeah. Figured."

He watched she picked up the dildo he threw at her.

"Unless that live model is Fleck, then no. Even if it was, it is still a no because A, that is weird, and I love you but, just, no. B, the problem I am having is that I don't want to send my live model to A&E."

His skin still flushed at his own words, but after the laughter and the fact he was just about to suck a fake cock in front of her, it broke the ice. He felt considerably relaxed about talking a little more openly about this.

She ducked out of the way of the flying phallus.

"Your little baby fangs aren't going to send him to A and E over a blowjob, sweet. They're turned fangs." Turned vampires tended to have smaller fangs usually. They did damage, yes, but she doubted they'd prick a penis enough to send Fleck to A and E.

"Do you want teaching, or are you just going to pummel me with penis all day?"

"Still..."

His tongue ran over his 'little baby fangs'. He wouldn't want them tearing the skin of his own penis.

He raised his hands in the air.

"I'll stop throwing things."

As awkward and ridiculous and horribly embarrassing as it was, he did, genuinely, wanted to give Fleck the best blowjob of his life. In Giacinto's words, not his.

"Good."

She gestured with a jerk of her chin. "Pick the penis up off the floor, close your eyes, and pretend you're blowing your human."

She smiled brightly, and waited.

This wasn't going to get boring any time soon.

"You know what? I take everything back. I hate you."

But he did as he told, and picked it up. He inspected it and dusted it off. Then held it back up to his face.

He closed his eyes, as she said, and tried to imagine Fleck.... standing? Lying? His imagination wasn't being so willing when he was trying to forget where he was and what he was doing.

He cracked open an eye at Giacinto.

"It's kind of offputting when someone is staring."

"No you don't."

He could be embarrassed all he wanted. He didn't hate her in the slightest, and nor would he. They were too close for any form of real hatred. They'd been family for almost the entirety of Dick's life, and a considerable chunk of hers.

"You think? I find it quite hot myself."

So she was a bit of an exhibitionist.

He was going to comment how he didn't want to know that. But it seemed kind of pointless. He was sat in her room, holding her dildo - about to put it in his mouth - trying not to think about where it had been.

Besides, he unfortunately already knew that. The woes of knowing someone for over five hundred years.

"That was a hint to maybe try and not look so intently, or pretend you're doing something else?"

Tony's brows arched upwards.

Really, he was making such a fuss over it.

"Should I go get a book?" Her tone stated very clearly that she thought he was being ridiculous and just needed to suck it up and deal with her watching if he actually wanted her help.

Despite her tone, it didn't sound like a terrible idea.

He stuck his tongue out at her, then brought the dildo back up to his face.

"Double checking, do you want me to show you everything or just... shove it straight in? Because I did the former and that didn't exactly boost my confidence considering you laughed at me."

She laughed, and pushed herself to stand.

As she passed him, heading back towards the lower level of her room, she dropped her hand atop his head and ruffled his blond hair.

"This just isn't going to work."

She couldn't do it. She just couldn't take this seriously with him.

A mixture of relief and disappointment settled in him. Mostly relief.

He blew a few curls out of his face that had been ruffled forward.

"What am I supposed to do then?"

"Just give it a try with him. Experimenting and seeing what works is the best part about sex. Just go for it."

Giacinto pulled up alongside one of the large floor-to-ceiling bookcases lining the wall and perused it with her eyes, and a raised finger. Her finger stroked the spines of many leather-bound books, all positively ancient.

She slid one book from the shelf and opened the cover. The pages were yellowed with age. Her eyes ran over the scrawled words, before she closed the cover with a snap and held it out to Dick.

"These are some of my favourites."

"I guess."

Dick ran his tongue over his teeth again.

She was right in that his teeth were not long enough to send Fleck to A&E. It wasn't like he couldn't heal him with a bit of blood if he did accidentally nick him. Plus, the danger of it being an added thrill and excitement was food for thought. The experimenting so far hadn't exactly been disastrous so far, either. Rather the opposite.

In a roundabout way, she had helped him.

Throwing the dildo carelessly onto her bed, he made his way down beside her by the bookcase.

He handled the book given to him with care, as he did with all books that have aged.

"Thanks, he is going to really appreciate this. I believe he is going to do these recipes justice."

He smiled at her, curling a strand of hair behind his pierced ear.

"Maybe we can invite you around some time and you can judge for yourself?"

"You may have to translate some things in there. Not all of it is Italian, and much of the Italian is outdated."

It wouldn't be an easy read.

"I would enjoy that. I haven't seen Trisola in a while. It would be nice to catch up with the girl."

Giacinto and Trisola got on well. There was something about being a strong-hearted woman with a gentle soul that brought them together.

"Okay, can I write notes in it for him then? So he doesn't have to constantly refer to for a recipe he likes?"

A brief look of confusion crossed his face.

"I keep forgetting you know the family, long before I knew Fleck- wait," he frowned, "does she know you're a vampire?"

"You put a pen to a single page of that book and I'll put a knife to your heart."

That book was older than Dick himself. She didn't want him defacing it. "If he finds he has favourites, have him start his own recipe book. Just copy them out into a new book. Ah..." She turned to a different bookcase and pulled out a sleek black leather-bound book. She held it out. "A gift. Every good Italian boy should have a nice recipe book."

Giacinto tilted her head. "Trisola? Not explicitly." She'd know the woman for almost twenty years, though. Trisola knew that there was something odd about her.

It was her son that knew what she was. Chrysanthemum.

Dick didn't doubt that threat.

He held the two books together. The difference between them was startling, but both were beautiful in their own way.

He smoothed his hand over the sleek, leather-bound book. He had half the mind to personalize it; embellish it with Fleck's name, maybe, or write a little note on the inside before giving it to him.

"Okay, got it. Don't write in this book. That will end in possible murder. Instead, he can write in this book to his heart content."

He patted them. He was sure Fleck would appreciate both.

"Not explicitly?"

"Possible? Dick, dear, that book is older than you. It's precious to me. Any defacing of it would certainly end in murder."

She clucked her tongue.

"I've been backing her son since he was in his teens. I certainly didn't look like a child when I started backing him. She knows there's something beyond impossible plastic surgery about me. She just doesn't know the true reason."

He drummed his fingers on the book.

"So, even though she knows something is up, she hadn't questioned about it or anything?"

The issue with telling Fleck's family about his vampirism has been pushed to the back of his mind, as he did with all of his problems. While telling Fleck had been a huge weight lifted off his shoulders and nowhere near as terrible as he imagined, he couldn't be certain for the rest of the family.

So being able to put it off as long as possible was quite appealing.

"She knows when to push and when not to. She's a smart girl. She knows that what I am isn't a danger to her family. That's enough for her."

Trisola didn't need to know any more to be comfortable.

She leaned against the bookcase.

"You're serious enough that you've thought about telling them?" Giacino could read Dick like the book he held in his hand.

"It's only been two years."