The Broken Doll

Avira rested his forehead against Coilean’s shoulder, sighing softly. He was so warm….

“…I missed you, le loup rouge.” he mumbled softly. “I missed you a lot.”

But not enough to make him regret leaving. It had done them both bad and good at the same time. They had both needed it. It would work in their favor in the long run.

He had missed being called that.

"I missed you, too, Avira." He pulled the vampire closer, burying his face in his neck. "So much."

He pressed his lips against the vampire's skin.

"Next time you get angry, hit me. Scream at me. Break a bone or ten. Don't leave for four months again. Please."

“I was not angry.” Avira murmured.

He almost wanted to make Coilean stop, but he didn’t. The dry lips pressing to his neck were more welcomed than he wanted to admit.

“I was….overwhelmed and confused. I have…never been in a serious relationship. I have never given myself to someone entirely. I…I was not sure how to hand things. What to do. I am still unsure.”

He didn't go any further than pressing his lips to the vampire's neck. He just wanted to feel the man's skin under his lips again.

He had no desire to try and take it further and end up feinting on him and causing more trouble.

"We can work through this together now. If I do something you don't like, or there's something you don't know, tell me, ask me. We can struggle through it together. Don't carry a weight we can share alone. Please."

His arms tightened around the vampire slightly as he pulled his face from the vampire's neck to look down at him.

"Don't run; please."

Avira gave Coilean an unreadable look. Panic momentarily bubbled inside him… Then he quashed it.

“I will do my best to remain by your side.” he murmured. “Though I do not think those others who care for you will appreciate the gesture.”

His brother and daughter, particularly, Avira had a feeling held no amount of love for him.

That was alright though. Avira loved Coilean and nothing was going to change that. Coilean was right, they would suffer through this together.

His lips quirked. "Alek won't be overly thrilled." His father hadn't been very happy with the vampire for leaving his son in such a state, but he was sure that he'd warm up to him once he saw Coilean start to do things for himself again. "But that'll change."

"Moe wants to see you again." His wry grin faded into a pleasant smile. "She wanted to meet you properly. and she was the only one that had any faith in you returning. Even after I gave up on seeing you again, she'd keep telling me that it was only a matter of time until you'll be back."

He quite obviously didn't mention his brother. They hadn't made yet. And Coilean had no wish to do so.

Avira sighed. So it was like that huh? Well he couldn’t say he was surprised. Coilean had obviously taken him leaving quite badly.

“It is probably a good thing care little for their opinions.” Avira mused.

He pulled away from Coilean, standing. He pulled a shirt from his back and pulled it on.

“You have not eaten in some time…I will go cook something for you. You should get some reast in the meantime.”

He shook his head softly. "I'm fine, really."

It'd hand't been that long since he had last eaten. Three or four days.

...Five maybe...

...Could have been six.

"You don't need to cook anything for me." He didn't want to trouble the vampire. He'd just come back; he didn't need to get stuck with looking after a starved Lycan.

Avira poked Coilean in the forehead, basically tipping the werewolf over backwards and making him flop against the bed.

“Rest. I will be back in a half hour with something to eat.” he instructed.

Avira slipped out of the room, padding through the halls. He stuck to the shadows and made it to the kitchen without interaction. Thank the heavens. And then he made it back much the same way. He had made soup and a sandwich, pretty easy to consume, and stopped off to check on Shanti.

She was alright, so he returned to his room, shutting the door with a small kick as he entered, baring the tray of food.

He pouted when Avira was able to push him back with just a finger. He was seriously unfit if someone could push him back with a finger.

"Thank you," he murmured, rolling onto his side to watch the vampire leave the room.

While he was gone, Coilean began toying with the collar that was still lying on the pillow. Tracing over the carved detail of the tag, fingering the soft leather.

...Would Avira ever want to wear it again?

The Lycan pondered over that question, fingers stroking the accessory idly, until the vampire returned.

He looked over vampire with a tired smile. "Thank you." The Lycan pushed himself to sit up.

Avira pushed Coilean back again.

“I said rest.” he ordered.

He put the tray down, then slipped onto the bed. He settled back against the wall, pulling Coilean into his arms, and letting him lean back against his chest. Then he put the tray on Coilean’s lap. This way he could help if he was needed.

“There.” he murmured, toying with Coilean’s hair. “Now eat.”

He mumbled under his breath as he was pushed and dragged around, but leaned back against Avira's chest willingly.

That chest was a fair amount more muscular than he remembered.

He stared down at the soup and sandwich silently for a moment before reaching for the spoon. Liquids first. if he could hold those down he'd go for solids. He hadn't been eating regularly enough to be able to swallow a whole load of slid food and now throw it all back up again.

He grimaced slightly when Avira started toying with his hair. It couldn't have been nice for the vampire to be playing with such disgustingly greasy hair. "I guess I should have a bath and clean up a little after this."

He lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth and sipped it slowly.

Avira shrugged his shoulders, sliding his fingers through the matted locks.

“If you wish, though you should probably wait until you can properly stand.” he told him.

The vampire watched his companion slowly beginning to eat. It was a simple meal, but it was something, and it left Avira time to think.

He knew he loved Coilean, but just because you loved someone didn’t mean you cared about them. But he must to some degree, he decided blandly. He had made him food and was helping him eat. That said something.

"If I take a bath, I just need to worry about getting in and out without falling and cracking my head open. I know I'm not strong enough to stand long enough for a shower."

It made him uneasy, talking about how weak he was. He didn't like admitting to himself, let alone someone else, that he was too weak to even stand for a few minutes.

Coilean didn't like feeling weak.

It took a while, but he managed to finish the bowl of soup. He set the spoon down and relaxed against his lover, eyes sliding shut. He'd let the soup settle before he tried the sandwich.

Avira sighed, resting his cheek against the top of Coilean’s head.

A lot had changed and yet nothing at all had. He didn’t want it to be like this yet…So familiar… No. He would have to change things after today. Today was just to assure Coilean that he DID love him. Things would go back to normal. One day.

“….I hate how you make me feel.” he mumbled. “But I love you more than I can put into words.”

He pondered over the statement silently.

He didn't know what to say to that.

What do you say to someone that had just said they hate a part of you but love you all the same?

So, instead of giving a verbal response, he hummed quietly.

Avira just sat there for a while, then he spoke again. It was odd, he didn’t usually instigate conversations, but this was Coilean. The rules rarely applied.

“I went home.” he murmured. “Home, home. As in…my first home. Where my family was killed.”

He fiddled with the hem of Coilean’s shirt, looking at the wall rather blankly.

“It was in good repair… It will do well when there are people living there again.” he murmured. “I took some things, decided I needed to move on…”

He nodded, lacing his fingers with Avira's, eyes still shut.

His thumb stroked Avira's skin as he spoke. It was really the only comfort he could give him. He knew very little of his life before the mansion. He didn't know much about his birth family.

He just knew what other Bounty Hunters knew. They were well known and good at their job.

"Are you planning on letting it out to others? Or moving back there at some point to start a family?"

“I gave it to some….people. It is unimportant.” Avira brushed it off. “As for whether or not I would return to start a family, I do not know.”

He sighed, picking his head up, and leaning it back. The back of his head thanked against the wall as he stared up at the ceiling. Such blank white space.

“I would like to continue the Naissance name, yes.” he murmured. “But I am a male, and you are as well… So there seems no hope of that. Provided we are assuming that we will…work ourselves out.”

He nodded, dismissing it as easy as his lover had told him to. The Lycan didn't want to pry. If it was something unimportant, he'd let it go.

Coilean blinked, brows furrowing together. "If we do work out, you're planning on staying with me?"

That shocked him quite a bit. many of the younger people he had been with or talked to had been determined to start a family. And, though a lot of them had liked people of the same persuasion, they had just said it was a little fun. It wouldn't last. They'd go off and start their families.

"You'd give up your chance to have a family?"

“Yes.” Avira murmured softly. “Why is it so shocking.”

When you loved someone you stayed with them no matter what. He loved Coilean, and should they work out, he was going to stick by him. No matter what.

“If we do work out you will be my lover. That means I will be bound to you…and since neither of us are able to bare children, it means no children.”

"Usually when someone wants a family, they don't stay with someone they can't start one with," was his reply, tightening his grip on the man's hand slightly.

He wanted a family, yes. But that was for himself. He wanted his children running around at his knees.

Avira wanted to continue his family name. That was a big thing. That was something that Coilean would support, no matter what it entailed. Carrying on the family line was an important thing.

"....We could try and work something out," he murmured.

Avira sighed.

“All in good time I suppose.” he murmured. “One day.”

Lycan vampire hybrids. Dangerous, but intriguing. Avira thought it would be interesting and wonderful.

If they could ever somehow do it. Who knew how. They weren’t human, and certainly there had to be some way.

"Aye, one day," he agreed.

His mind descended into thought then.

If they did have children, what would they look like? Would they have his ginger hair or Avira's white? His green eyes or Avira's violet? His nose, Avira's mouth?

Would they be boys or girls?

He wouldn't deny that the thought of a boy excited him somewhat.

The Lycan reached for the sandwich, tearing a chunk from it and chewing it slowly.

Avira let his mind wander as well, but no longer to the thought of children. Children would be nice, that was true. But he had other things to think about.

How was he going to deal with Coilean’s family? Surely they hated him. There were also several new coven members. He wanted nothing to do with them but he was sure he would have little choice eventually. There always seemed to eb SOME reason he had to interact.

Shanti was settling in, but she was a good two rooms away, and that worried him. He didn’t trust anyone else around her.

Avira sighed.