Sleep Tight

When one rarely sleeps, one also rarely dreams. Or at least hopes to rarely dream, in Avira’s case. As a vampire, sleep wasn’t necessary, it wasn’t even a given. It was more an occasional necessity he couldn’t avoid. Silly perhaps, but nonetheless.

Avira tried not to sleep most days. Not when all that haunted him was endless darkness, or clutching nightmares. Sometimes he got a blank sleep, deep and thoughtless, and those nights were good. He even preferred the endless darkness to the nightmares.

Tonight was not one of those nights.

Avira woke and sat bolt upright. To say he was panicking was an understatement. His heart was racing, he was drenched in cold sweat, and his amethyst eyes were wide and sunken with fear. Harsh gasps ripped from his lips as he tried to remember how to breathe.

Coilean was sat on his bed, guitar in his lap, Maccon curled up in front of him.

His brother's dog had decided earlier in the night that she wanted the company of the calmer brother and had come to seek him out.

The Lycan's fingers passed over the strings dexterously as he played El Toro.

Both canines looked up and the guitar fell silent when Avira shot bolt upright in his own bed.

"Avira?" Coilean called softly.

Avira didn’t seem to hear Coilean, staring blankly at the wall, getting his breathing under control.

Lightning flashed outside, followed by a loud rumble of thunder and Avira nearly jumped out of his skin. His breathing was harsh as he stared out at the falling rain, long hair whipping around in a pale silver arc. He was trembling, and eventually tore his eyes from the window.

Avira curled in on himself, knees to his chest and arms around them, head hidden against his knees. He rocked slightly, sucking in breaths and trying not to panic.

Both canines slipped off their bed and padded over to the vampire.

Maccon jumped up onto the bed, nudging Avira's leg with her wet nose.

"Maccon, iad féin a iompar," the Lycan muttered, pushing at the dog's head to get her to move back away from his boyfriend as he crawled onto the bed himself.

He knelt in front of the cowering boy, hand hovering over his shoulder debating whether or not to touch him. "Avira? Avira, mo ghrá?" He laid his hand gently on his lover's shoulder.

-------------------------------------
Maccon, behave
Avira, my love?

Avira jumped again, head whipping up to stare at Coilean. For a moment, he looked much younger, lost, confused…. Like he didn’t recognize Coilean at all.

Then the mask was back. The usual cool steel sliding down in front of his vulnerable self and Avira was back. Shaken, but back.

“Coilean.” he said, voice raspy. The vampire cleared his throat. “I apologize, go back to bed, it’s nothing.”

He brushed the older male’s hand aside, turning away.

Coilean didn't like the look the younger man was giving him. Like...he didn't know him.

"I wasn't in bed," was his response as he laid out next to his lover, hand running up and down his arm slowly. He was much more relaxed now that he knew the vampire recognised him. That blank look... It scared him; though he wouldn't admit it.

He didn't pry. He had been in this situation before and he knew that the last thing he wanted was to be poked and prodded with questions.

The Lycan figured that if Avira wanted to share what was on his mind, he'd do it on his own terms in his own time.

Avira laid down, curling in on himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, but that only made the pictures flash more quickly in front of his vision. He let out a shaky sigh and opened his eyes again.

“It’s nothing Coilean.” he murmured, hoping to somehow dissuade his lover from staying where he was. His simple presence was question enough.

"Mhmm," he replied indulgently, fingers running idly through Avira's silver-white hair.

"I'm here, y'know?" That was about all he'd do for now. Just assure the younger man that he was here; he wasn't going anywhere; he'd listen to whatever Avira wanted to say.

Maccon whimpered softly, touching her nose to the vampire's leg again, looking up at him with wide blue eyes.

Coilean's lips curled into a small smile. "And Maccon's here too."

Avira couldn’t help reaching down and gently petting the dog, He had a soft spot for animals, he couldn’t help it.

“I know.” he murmured.

Caterva and Ignis eyed him knowingly, their tails flicking. He ignored his cats though, both of which looked at least slightly irate with him.

He was silent a long time, then spoke at last. Of course what he said made little sense.

“Have you ever seen an albino raven?” he murmured.

Maccon yipped quietly, tongue lapping out over the vampire's hand.

Coilean smiled softly, arm sliding around Avira's waist, pulling him closer gently.

"No," he murmured, nuzzling into his lover's neck. "I can't say I have. I've seen albino animals, but I'm not sure I've seen a raven."

“They’re easy to spot.” he murmured. “Wherever they are. They always stand out. After all they look nothing like other ravens, which are pure black, even their eyes.”

He curled in on himself, slipping into the fetal position, eyes glassy.

“Usually the murder doesn’t accept them.” he mumbled. “So they’re always on the move, before another murder chases them away. It’s why there aren’t very many. They always get killed off.”

"Melanistic and Albino animals are always being chased away and killed," he murmured, silver eyes sliding shut.

He was guilty of killing off more than his fair share of melanstic and albino Lycan under Alek's orders.

"Y'know talking about albino's is kinda depressing, leannán." His fingers ran through his lover's white hair.

Avira chuckled weakly.

“Everyone says that.” he whispered.

He closed his eyes again, meekly praying that maybe the nightmare wouldn’t come back. His prayers were not answered.

White wings, beating hard at the cold air. Sleek body, taking flight for the first time… white feathers trimmed in blood…

He opened his eyes again.

"I'd be pretty detached from the subject if you didn't remind me of an albino," he replied with a shrug.

He didn't care much about the albino he had killed. They were just expendable underlings that Alek wanted gone. He hadn't even cared when the ones he had to kill were his own creations.

"Your heartbeat's going crazy," the Lycan murmured, hand moving from the younger man's hips to rest above his heart, long fingers splayed out over his chest.

“Don’t say that.” Avira croaked. “Don’t…just…forget I said anything.”

His hand curled into the sheets, his eyes squeezing tightly shut again. He fought back every urge to scream, or cry, or… Who knew what else.

The warm hand over his heart helped. Marginally.

"Implying that I could ever forget something you say, Avira," he murmured in his lover's ear, pulling Avira closer.

Maccon crawled closer to the pair, licking Avira's neck before curling against his chest.

He pressed his lips against the back of Avira's head, thumb brushing his chest in a calmng rhythm.

Avira had never confided in anyone. He didn’t particularly want to confide in anyone. It had never been something he had thought about doing or wished to do.

But he found his mouth opening and words spilling out anyway.

“Revenwyte isn’t my real last name.” he murmured. “I…gave it to myself. Some years ago.”

He nodded silently, thumb still brushing against the man's chest.

Coilean didn't really hold surnames in high esteem. He was from a time when people just didn't care about them. Hardly anyone had one; especially in his tiny village.

So, he wasn't overly shocked that the vampire had an alias.

Avira’s mind wasn’t even processing what he was saying anymore, or it hadn’t caught up at least. Otherwise he would be silent by now.

“It comes from the fact that my…only transformation…” his hand tightened in the sheets. “Is into a white raven…”

There was dead silence a long moment, before he added one last thing.

“The day I learned I even had a second form was the worst day of my life. That’s why…I’ve never told anyone about it. Till now.”

He remembered the conversation they had about transformations. He remembered talking about his wolf and Avira being a raven. But a second form? He didn't remember that coming up in conversation before.

Till now.

Ah, that'd be why.

Instead of prodding with words, he gave a curious hum.

Avira said nothing more.

After a long moment, he elbowed Coilean gently, trying to nudge him away.

“Go back to bed Coilean.” he muttered.

"I'm quite comfortable here now. And I dont think Maccon is going anywhere soon." The husky was already snoring softly, curled against Avira's chest.

His stubbornness was just his way of keeping himself there with his lover.

He knew Avira needed someone and he knew that the idjit wouldn't talk to anyone and would just bottle it all up if he were left alone.

And, even if he didn't want to talk, he'd at least still stay by him.

Avira sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Would the word ‘PLEASE’ help at all?” he grumbled, slightly spiteful, but not entirely.

He supposed this was why he had never really gotten close to anyone, or told them his secrets. They always seemed determined to stick around.

"Nope."

He pressed a kiss to the back of Avira's neck.

"I'm not gonna poke or prod cause if it were the other way around I'd tear the throat out of whoever pokes or prods me, but just let me be here."

His arms tightened around him fractionally. "Just let me show that I care, okay?"

Avira sighed.

“Alright.” he mumbled.

There was silence for a while, until Avira shakily opened his mouth, throat slightly clogged, but managing to speak anyway.

“I…I need some sleep…if…I say anything…” he stared at the wall. “Please…please don’t ask me about it…”